Im gonna miss you...

This could be one of the harder posts I have had to do since Callie left.

Growing up we were ALWAYS around our grandparents. Being at their lake house was always the best treat for any young kid! When they moved to Florida, I was mad!! It was like they left us! But our parents were awesome enough to take us down and even just send us down to visit them. Of course they would come home to visit us too, but it was so much more cooler to go down to their house! (shoot, they always let us break the rules... and Grandma ALWAYS had the biggest and best strawberries!!!)

When Grandma passed away shortly after we lost Callie, I felt my world collapse around me. I always had a special bond with Grandma and I made sure she knew that!!! (sorry to my siblings & cousins, but you know Im soooo Grandmas fave!) It took me a while to believe she was really gone. But in a weird way, it brought me some comfort to know that she was taking care of Callie for me. She never got to meet or hold Callie so this was her way to get Callie all to herself! I still haven't accepted the fact that either one of them is really gone, and Im not sure if I ever completely will.

When Grandpa was home for Grandmas services, my heart broke into a million more pieces seeing how heartbroken he was. They were married for 55 years... they completed each other and now she was gone. It was like he was lost. We all took him under our wings and just all worried about him.

He went into the hospital recently and our family goal was to get him better so we could get him home to Bremen to recoop and to officially move. We NEEDED him back home... and he needed to be here.

I talked to him every day while he was home. He would answer the phone "Hi My Katie" and I would ask him how he knew it was me and he'd tell me I was the only one who would call him daily! He'd tell me he was waiting for my call... do you know how awesome that made me feel??

I talked to him last week on one of his better days and he told me that he couldn't wait to get back to Indiana so he could be here when the new babies came (referring to our bundle and then my cousin Michael & Michelles baby due in September). It brought a smile to my face and told him I couldn't wait for our babies to meet the "Bear". We chatted some more and then he told me that the #1 thing he wanted, was to be with my Grandma. It broke my heart. The tears began to flow like crazy. I know she was his sweetheart and he was just heartbroken. Bless his heart.

Grandpa passed away yesterday afternoon. No one would tell me until our day in Chicago was over. I guess I understand that but I had a feeling all day that something was wrong. I guess its that 6th sense people say we have. I just knew something was wrong.

My mom broke the news to me as we drove home from Chicago. I cried so hard the whole way home. My poor husband didn't know what to say. He just reached over and rubbed my leg and told me he was there for me. He was awesome to me when Grandma left and knows that with our "extra cargo" Im carrying I have to watch so I dont get my blood pressure up.

I know my Grandpa was sick, but honestly, I had no idea that he was this sick. He never wanted to be kept alive by machines. He was ready to go. he wanted to go and be with the love of his life. He wanted to be with Grandma again. I prayed to Callie several times "Don't take my Poppa" but for some reason, she thought she needed him more than I did. I hope Poppa found them and is on Grandma's swing with them. (I hope Grandma has a strong swing! ha)

I will miss my grandparents more than anyone will ever imagine. I never had a bond with my dads parents, so honestly, I really only had one set of Grandparents. And those two, Busi & Bear, were the BEST grandparents EVER!

I have so many great memories of the two of them that will last a lifetime. It saddens me deeply that my future child(ren) will never know Busi & Bear. You can bet that I will tell them all about them though! They were amazing people, and will NEVER be forgotten. They are the reason our family is so strong today.

To Busi & Poppa (I think I am the only one who calls him that)... I love you both so much it hurts. I am sad you're gone but happy that you are together. Callie is lucky that she gets you all to herself... and youre lucky that you have her. Tell her I miss her and that I love her so very much. Momma misses Monkey.

The three of you are SO important to me and I love you all!!

I MISS YOU!!

Until we meet again....