September 22

Well, I haven't had any doctor appointments lately, and I guess thats a good thing!! They must think Im doing that well if they dont need to see me!! I was suppose to go up and see Dr. DiGi on October 6, but we have moved the appointment out and now I dont see her until October 19. That same day I will see Dr. Bakris (my blood pressure doctor). What a way to spend my 31st birthday... at the hospital! Guess its better than being at work!! So until then, we'll just sit back, and let the baby cook! When we go up on the 19th, I will be 30 weeks! OMG! Hopefully we'll get to schedule my c-section that day. I'd love to get a date firmed up!

Cole had surgery on Monday. He had been walking with a limp and told us it was "nothing". But after talking to his mom, she took him to see a dr and what do you know, it wasn't just nothing.... it was a big problem! His hip bone wasn't growing into the growth plate right. Had we of caught it sooner, it could have been fixed but since it had shifted, the only thing they could do was put a screw in it to hold it in place! So he had a screw put into his right hip. He'll be on crutches for 6 weeks. Oh dear lord! The kid can barely walk without crutches let alone with them!! We'll help teach him how to do things without the use of his leg and basics like pulling himself up... because lord knows I cant help pull him up! He'll be okay.. just gotta learn to do basics all over again!

Today is a gloomy day, I swear on gloomy days, I end up weepy. I was sitting here and all of sudden the tears started to flow. I miss Callie so much. I sit and think about all the things we missed out with her and the things we should be planning... like her first Halloween costume, her first birthday party, etc. She got cheated out of her life, and it eats me up on the inside. I know there is nothing I can do to bring her back, and I dont have a time machine, but as a mom, it still eats me up. I couldn't save my baby girl, and I HATE THAT FEELING.

People have been walking by my desk and just give me a look but thankfully, no one has said "whats wrong" or "are you okay" because if they did, I think I would snap. People don't understand what I go through, nor do I ever want them to have to find out what this feeling is like. I wouldn't wish it upon my worse enemy. I feel so alone even though I know I have one hell of a support system. Its just sooo damn hard. Im thankful for the people in my life, but yet at the same time, I feel so alone.

Thats about enough of my update for today. I guess we're boring since I dont have much to update you on! Craigs birthday is this Saturday... my hubby is gonna be 36. We are going to Chicago on Sunday. Lunch and then off to the Cubs vs Cards game. Im looking forward to it!! Even though our Cubs suck, we'll still have a good time!! Its like a date day!! Love when I get that one on one time with him!! It doesn't happen that often.

Til next time...

24 week update

Wow, can you believe we're at 24 weeks and 4 days already??? Sheesh, this pregnancy is flying by!!

Well, we had a check up yesterday... and everything looks good!! The main purpose for this check up was to have an ultrasound to check on the baby's right foot. Because at our last appointment, they were concerned about the baby having a mild clubbed foot. The U/S appeared normal yesterday. They will still keep an eye on it but for now, we're not too concerned about it.

We were 24wks and 3days yesterday and the baby is measuring 26wks 2 days. So almost two weeks ahead of schedule!! WOW!! The baby weighs about 1lb 13oz. ALMOST 2LBS! The heartbeat was strong at 145bpm. And the baby was ACTIVE!! It was moving all around and kept kicking!! There were two times that the ultrasound tech told us to close our eyes so we didn't see anything we didn't want to see. So we did and didn't see anything "down there". And yeah, we're still NOT finding out the gender. We're going old school.

Here is a picture for you all to see though.... the baby is SMILING!



Craig took yesterday off work to head to Chicago with me. Such an awesome day we had together. This was his first trip to the Dr. with me for this baby. See, Craig can't get off work as easily as I can so its hard for him to go with me.. especially since going to an appt. means taking the WHOLE day off. So I was happy that his boss let him off!! Thanks Mr. Bossman!

After the appointment, we had a tour of the hospital. They showed us Labor & Delivery, where the operating room is at since I'll be a C-Section and then the mother/baby rooms. The rooms seem older than at Memorial where I had Callie but hey, we dont need anything fancy! The nice thing is that they're all SINGLE rooms so I don't have to share a room with anyone I don't know. Craig will be able to stay with me and they will even give him his own bed! No pullout couch, a real bed. He was happy!

We're allowed 2 visitors at a time, and no one under the age of 16. However, since Cole is the biological sibling, he WILL be able to come to the hospital and see the baby. Which makes me happy. As long as he behaves! Otherwise, he can stay home!! But since we'll deliver in Chicago, we shouldn't have that many visitors anyway. No one wants to make the 2hour trip in the winter!! I know I wouldn't!!! Thank goodness for digital cameras and the internet! That way we can keep everyone up to date via this blog and Facebook!

I think thats the jist of our update this week!

OH!!! My cousin Michael and his wife Michelle, had a baby girl today!!! CONGRATS!!!!! We thought for sure they were having a boy but we were all wrong!!!! So happy for them!! And happy for the rest of the Marshall clan too!!! Now Mady has a new playmate!!!

Til next time...